You Should Be Using More Lube!!

To me, having sex without lube is like brushing your teeth with no water. It might get the job done, but the result is … sticky, kind of painful, and doesn't leave you feeling refreshed. Lube is not only an optional luxury that sits in the sock drawer waiting for the "right moment:, but a necessity to great bedroom pleasure. Whether you are spending time self-pleasuring, with a partner or many partners for that matter, an intimate lubricant should be involved, be it silicone or water based. (It's a personal preference)

No bedroom is complete without at least one or two varieties on hand, especially if you're planning to use sex toys. (Everyone should be using sex toys, but that's another story.) As far as I'm concerned, lube is as essential for sex as condoms and clean hands. If I show up at someone's house for a good time and there isn't lube waiting on the bed side table, I'm out of there.

I was surprised to learn that not everyone is with me on this. In bedrooms I've been in, lube has been as common as bedsheets and pillows. If you haven't tried lube before, or if you have some reservations, that's probably not your fault. There are powerful forces working to convince you that you should be out there raw-dogging it. Dark forces, gathering in the night, who seek only to chafe your genitals. 

One of these malicious creatures is misogyny—it tells us that using an intimate lubricant is somehow a failing; that needing it for sex is a failure on your part or your partner's. It whispers: How dare you not get wetter; there must be something wrong with your body. (Don't listen to it!)

Another monster under the bed is machismo. It tells us that using lube means you're a bad lover and that you've failed to get your partner excited. It's all nonsense. There is nothing wrong with your body. There's nothing wrong with your technique. Sometimes bodies don't do what we want them to and, surprise, surprise, sometimes genitals don't behave in the way that movies, TV, books, and porn tell us they should. They are fake remember, we aren't. 

It's 2024, can we please quit pretending that people shouldn't enjoy getting off? Or that sexual pleasure isn't important? Because it is. Put that absurd-laughable-harebrained nonsense in the rearview. 

Anyone who has ever self pleasured knows that having a little extra something (saliva, naturally occurring moisture, etc) makes it feel better. And feeling good is the whole point! Water-based or silicone-based lubes made from high-quality ingredients can be like rocket fuel for your sexual pleasure. 

Not only do they prevent chafing (and microscopic tears) on the most sensitive parts of your body, but they make things feel so much better. Lube is like sexual MSG. It makes everything better, and some people are weirdly afraid of it. 

OK, so where do you start? Easy peasy: Order yourself a bottle of any unscented, unflavoured, glycerine-free, water-based lube. (Smooth Natural RRP $11.99) You don't want any scent, because when you're in the thick of it, it's going to make things smell weird. (It's the same deal with flavoured lubes.) Ideally, you want lubes that have as few ingredients as possible. Keep it simple. 

The other major kind of lube you'll encounter is silicone-based. These lubes are oil-based, meaning they last a lot longer than water-based lubes, as your body won't absorb them as quickly; it makes them the most common choice for anal play and anal sex. 

There is also one other big caveat with silicone-based lubes: You can't use them with silicone sex toys. Silicone lube can make silicone toys degrade over time. If you use silicone lube with a silicone toy, make sure you use a condom. My go to is Smooth Silicone RRP $20.00.

Other than that, my only remaining advice is this: Play! Play with yourself. Get a lube, set aside some time, grab a favourite toy, and go ham. The only way to learn how to use lubes is to use them, and the best way to practice is with yourself. Learn how well they apply, how much you like to use, and where the best place to store them is. Sex should be easy, be friction-free, and feel great—and a good lube will help with all three. 

For more information about lubricants, please contact Lauren Mills, Marketing Executive 0418 187 877 or lauren@sensuous.com.au