Elizabeth Jane: How to repair a broken friendship
Announcement posted by Invigorate PR 09 Sep 2025
Friendship can be one of the greatest sources of joy, comfort and belonging in our lives but when a friendship breaks down, the emotional pain can rival that of a romantic breakup. International bestselling author and emotional wellbeing expert Elizabeth Jane said repairing a broken friendship is possible, but it requires honesty, humility and courage.
"Friendships are not disposable. They are some of the most important relationships we will ever have," Jane said.
"However, when hurt feelings, misunderstandings or neglect fracture that bond, we have to choose whether to let it slip away or do the work to repair it."
Jane endured a difficult relationship breakup after 25 years of marriage.
"During this time, I lost and gained friends as I started to really feel into and understand what my true needs were and to put clear boundaries in place."
"Some friendships become fractured when people break up. Some friends feel uncomfortable and don't know how to respond or feel like they are taking sides so they distance themselves. Often people simply go through difficult situations or encounter misunderstandings and this causes a rift.
"Regardless, if the friendship was important to you, it is worth salvaging."
Jane outlines the key steps to take to heal the rift.
Step one: take responsibility
Jane, who is also a celebrated artist, keynote speaker and author of Free and First - Unlocking Your Ultimate Life, said that the first step in repairing a friendship is taking an honest look at your own role in the breakdown.
"It's easy to blame the other person, but friendships are two-way streets. Ask yourself: Did I fail to show up? Was I dismissive, distracted, or careless with their trust? Taking responsibility doesn't mean taking all the blame, it means owning your part with integrity," she said.
Step two: communicate with courage
Once you have reflected on your role, Jane said it's time to open the lines of communication.
"Send a message, make the call or ask to meet in person. Don't wait for the perfect moment, it rarely comes. Be vulnerable and speak honestly. Say what hurt you, acknowledge what you regret and most importantly, listen with an open heart," she said.
According to Jane, real repair happens when both people feel heard. An empowered conversation is an opportunity for personal growth and strengthening of the relationship.
"If you go in just to defend yourself, you'll miss the opportunity to reconnect. Go in with curiosity, not combat," Jane said.
Step three: Don't forget to forgive
"Don't underestimate the power of forgiveness. It doesn't mean you are condoning the misbehaviour but forgiving your friend and yourself for the part you played, lightens you and allows you to move forward without the heavy burden of shame and blame," Jane said.
Step four: rebuild trust slowly
Jane explained that even after an apology or reconciliation, repairing a friendship may not be instant. It can take time, consistency and care.
"Trust is not rebuilt in one conversation. It's rebuilt through small actions; checking in, showing up, keeping your word and being patient," Jane said.
"Friendship repair is like healing a wound. It needs gentle handling and it can't be rushed."
When to let go
Jane also acknowledged that not every friendship can or should be repaired.
"Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is let a friendship go with love. If the relationship was toxic, one-sided, or repeatedly hurtful, forgiveness may mean moving forward separately," she said.
"However, if a friendship was once healthy and life-giving, it is almost always worth trying to repair it. Our friends are the people who know us best and losing them unnecessarily can be one of life's deepest regrets."
Choosing connection over pride
At its core, Jane believes repairing a friendship comes down to choosing connection over pride.
"Friendship is a gift. If it mattered to you once, it's worth the vulnerability of saying, 'I miss you and I'd like us to find our way back,'" she said.
"Broken friendships don't heal by wishing, they heal by action, honesty and care. It takes vulnerability to express how we truly feel and courage to speak up as to what has hurt us but the rewards are well worth it.
"Having that often difficult conversation is an opportunity not only to heal the relationship but also for you to become more empowered, happier and free."
About Elizabeth Jane
Elizabeth Jane is an Australian artist, author and public speaker. She uses a selection of painting media in her art, including acrylic oil and water colour. Digital and canvas versions of her art are available for purchase through her website. Jane's debut book, 'Free and First—Unlocking Your Ultimate Life', was written as part of her healing process following her divorce, which ended a 25- year marriage. Jane aims to develop wellness centres and healing sanctuaries focused on helping people to recover from relationship breakdowns and other life issues.