Elizabeth Jane: Why your next relationship or job will fail if you don’t fix this first
Announcement posted by Invigorate PR 30 Apr 2026
As Australians continue to navigate divorce, career changes and major life transitions, a growing number are rushing into new relationships, jobs and opportunities without first addressing the one factor that determines long-term success, themselves.
Best-selling author, keynote speaker and emotional wellbeing thought leader Elizabeth Jane is warning that failing to reset emotionally, mentally and practically before starting again is one of the biggest mistakes people make.
"People are so eager to move forward that they skip the most important step," Jane said.
"They change the person, the job or the environment, but they take the same mindset, patterns and emotional baggage with them."
Jane, author of Free and First - Unlocking Your Ultimate Life, said this pattern is driving repeated relationship breakdowns, career dissatisfaction and a persistent feeling of being stuck.
"You cannot create a different outcome with the same internal blueprint," she said.
"If you don't reset, you will recreate more of the same unfulfilling circumstances."
Based in Sydney and a mother of four adult children, Jane said she is seeing a surge in people seeking guidance after experiencing repeated cycles in relationships and work.
"Different partner, same problems. New job, same frustrations. This is not coincidence," she said.
"This is a reflection of what has not yet been addressed internally."
She said a personal reset is not about stopping life, but about pausing with intention to recalibrate.
"A reset is where you take ownership, reflect honestly and consciously choose how you want to show up moving forward," she said.
Jane outlined why resetting yourself is critical before stepping into any new chapter.
Break old patterns before they repeat
"Without awareness, we default to what is familiar, even if it is unhealthy," Jane said.
"If you have been in codependent relationships, tolerated poor behaviour or avoided difficult conversations, those patterns will follow you unless you consciously change them."
She said identifying triggers, behaviours and past decision-making is essential to creating new outcomes.
Heal before you seek
Jane said many people look externally for something to fill an internal gap.
"If you are seeking validation, security or happiness from someone else or a job, you are placing pressure on that situation to fix something within you," she said.
"That is not sustainable."
She emphasised that healing unresolved pain, grief or disappointment creates a stronger foundation for future success.
Get clear on what you actually want, you Do deserve it
"Clarity is power," Jane said.
"Many people enter relationships or accept jobs that are not in alignment with who they truly are and what they desire as they believe that perfect partner or job may never come and maybe they are not worthy.
"It's critical to understand what you want, what you value and what you will or won't accept. The starting point is to have a healthy sense of self-worth."
She recommended defining non-negotiables, values and long-term goals before making any major life decision.
"When you are clear, you make better choices and avoid unnecessary detours," she said.
Strengthen your self-worth
Jane said self-worth directly influences the quality of relationships and opportunities people accept.
"You will always accept what you believe you deserve," she said.
"When your self-worth is strong, your standards rise and your tolerance for misalignment drops."
She said this shift is often the difference between settling and thriving.
Reset your mindset and emotional state
"Our internal state drives our external results," Jane said.
"If you are operating from fear, scarcity or insecurity, you will make very different decisions than if you are grounded, confident and clear."
She encouraged practices such as journalling, coaching, therapy, movement and mindfulness to help people reset emotionally and mentally.
Take responsibility for your role
"One of the most empowering things you can do is take responsibility," Jane said.
"Not blame, but ownership. What did I ignore? What did I tolerate? What can I do differently next time?"
She said this perspective shifts people from feeling like victims of circumstance to being in control of their future.
Don't rush the process
Jane warned that urgency is often driven by discomfort rather than readiness.
"People rush because they don't want to feel alone, uncertain or uncomfortable," she said.
"However, stepping into something new before you are ready often leads to the same outcome."
She said patience is not a delay, but a strategy.
"The time you invest in resetting will save you years of repeating cycles," she said.
Jane believes that those who take the time to reset themselves are far more likely to experience meaningful, aligned and lasting success in both relationships and career.
"When you change, everything changes for the better," she said.
"You stop chasing and start choosing. You stop reacting and start responding. You stop settling and start aligning."
Her message is clear.
"The most important work you will ever do is on yourself," she said.
"When you take the time to reset, you don't just start again, you start smarter, stronger and far more aligned with the life you actually want."
About Elizabeth Jane
Elizabeth Jane is a best-selling author, sought-after keynote speaker, artist and respected thought leader whose work has inspired thousands of people to live with greater clarity, confidence and emotional freedom. Her highly popular book, Free and First - Unlocking Your Ultimate Life has helped many people across the globe to navigate and move forward from divorce and other life challenges to find joy and happiness. Based in Sydney, she is a devoted mother to four adult children and a powerful advocate for wellbeing, resilience and authentic living.
A Commerce graduate who later completed a Diploma in Education, Elizabeth has built a multifaceted career as a mentor, spokeswoman and creative force. Her insights have shaped conversations across mental health, relationships and personal transformation, earning her a reputation as one of Australia's most compelling voices in the self-development space.
Beyond her writing and speaking engagements, Elizabeth is a passionate practitioner of yoga and meditation and an accomplished painter. Her artwork and storytelling share a unifying mission: to empower people with practical tools to cultivate purpose, emotional strength, vibrant health and enduring joy.
Whether through her books, commentary and insights, her art or her presence on stage, Elizabeth continues to encourage audiences to live deeply, love fully and embrace the most authentic version of themselves.