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How To Not Suck As A Dad

Announcement posted by The Audacious Agency 31 Aug 2015

5 Steps To Being A Great Father
MEDIA RELEASE Five Things That Make Fathers Great

Many men are failing their children because they have no idea how to be an awesome father, relying on skills taught to them by equally flawed people – their parents.

Lindsay Spencer-Matthews, a registered psychologist, said the challenge of being an amazing parent is that we learn how to parent from our parents. “So why are men not the fathers they would like to be? Because they are victims of unintentional bad parenting,” he said.

“The majority of us operate from habit. We are taught a certain way to do things and stick with it, rarely questioning why we do the things we do.

“This is the case for parenting. We learn through observation and pick up bad habits from our parents. While many of us try to improve on how we were parented, old habits die hard.”

Lindsay is the author of Why Clever People Do Dumb Things, which identifies why most people find life has its challenges. 

“Our desire to change is often thwarted by our greatest enemy - our invisible automatic programming. Our ‘programming’ essentially results in habitual, emotional, and automatic behaviour which rules our business, personal lives and our thoughts and reactions,” he said.

“Half my practice is men trying to understand why they do what they do, with a large percentage of the women and children I see are impacted by the behaviour of the men in their lives.

“These men are doing the best they can but are trapped by their automatic programming.

“If men want to be amazing dads, then they have to start thinking differently about what being a man means for the sake of their children.”

Lindsay believes men are in a tight spot; unsure of where they fit in the changing world. “But men are unintentionally allowing this stereotyping of who they are to happen,” he said.

“They are breaking under pressure and are finding the uncomfortable comfortable. Men are not questioning what is happening to them but they are lashing out – yelling at their loved ones, not spending time with their children and retreating into their cave.”

Lindsay said the problem with our culture is that the paradigms we have created are ridiculous.

“We’re faced with high incidences of suicide, mental illness and domestic violence but we continue to really take no action. As a result, many are suffering because we are not changing how we think about how we think,” he said.

Lindsay believes that there are five core areas which men can refer to change the way they think about the way they think and help they become the men they deserve to be.

“The five things clever fathers do? 1. use logic, 2. moral reasoning, 3. problem solving, 4. recognition of values and 5. consideration of consequences," he said.

“Men need to start questioning why they do what they do instead of continuing down the same path.”

www.greatchangemaker.com.au