POLLEN PUTS THE BEE INTO AI
Announcement posted by Boatshed Media 01 Apr 2017
SYDNEY APRIL 1, 2017: Pollen Consulting Group today announced the launch of the world’s first artificially intelligent business consultant – Consultabee. Consultabee not only provides hands on consultancy, it also operates like a drone - to ensure food-safe environments.
The intelligence
“Taking over 120 years of knowledge and putting it inside a “bee”, was no easy engineering feat. 45,753,064 billion PowerPoint slides had to be turned to code, alongside deconstructing some of the longest Excel formulae known to man. All this was before we even started programming it to respond to users,” Pollen CEO Paul Eastwood said.
The Consultabee can project images onto walls, speak and video in real time. Using the latest big data analytics, the bee is programmed to present back to you the information you provided in 47 different graphs within 38 seconds of processing. It also has a special lens to read the time on any kind of watch, providing 82 language translations of the time.
The bee can log actions and with a top speed on 440mph it has the ability to escalate an incomplete action on the shop floor all the way through the chain of command. Its sophisticated technology can even relay a message to the International Space Station if someone is using the wrong coloured pen!
Battery life
The average consultant will tell you they work harder that everyone else in the world. “We average 14 hours per day at least,” said one harried junior consultant.
Putting its human counterparts to shame, the Consultabee has a battery life of 15hrs and rather that drink expensive wine that it has little appreciation for on an expense account, it charges its batteries overnight in its hive ready for a 6am start with your team the next morning. Even better, the bee does not live in another city and can even be seen working on a Friday afternoon.
Impressing your boss
The Consultabee is fully compatible with PowerPoint and can create a 48-page presentation on any topic you ask.
“Clients always ask us questions and want a summary for their boss, we can now turn that around in just a few minutes with our standard PowerPoint templates where we can find and replace the clients name and standard answers such as ‘significant opportunity of 10-100% improvement in [insert here] area but needs external expertise to realise’,” Eastwood said.
Staying one page ahead
The Consultabee will automatically link to all users Amazon accounts and maintain a page ahead of any textbook that you are reading, able to recite the topic and page ahead of you whenever required.
Personality plus
There are three programmes that allow users to adapt the intensity of the bee:
Trump mode – the bee will dictate an intense amount of meaningless actions, make up 43% of its facts on the spot, repeatedly offend clients and occasionally glow orange;
Nike Mode – focusing on short-term gains, spurs the team to ‘just do it’ on any actions or activity; Pollen mode – on this setting the bee will automatically set off a homing beacon to send for a real consultant, someone who puts values before process, works shoulder to shoulder with you and your team, leads, nurtures and develops key people and will likely have some fun along the way.
An additional feature just installed is the humour setting that automatically publishes a funny story on the 1st April every year.
ENDS
For more information, please contact:
Paul Eastwood
E: paul@pollenconsultinggroup.com
ABOUT POLLEN CONSULTING GROUP
Pollen Consulting Group are the go-to people on value chain transformation, bottom-line performance and fostering collaboration in the food and beverage sector.
Founded by experienced management consultant Paul Eastwood, Pollen was established with a vision to change the whole food and beverage sector, as well as and the belief that value chains can be transformed through collaboration.
Pollen’s clients include Woolworths and several food and beverage manufacturers.