New Paradigm Parenting

The “do as I say, not as I do” approach to parenting has reached a critical point of expiration, says thought leader, mindset coach and mum-of-four, Mirjana Boznovska. 

To effectively create a new world, we must begin at home with our children, turning the traditional notion of parenting “on its head”, she says.

“This new paradigm shifts the essence of the parent-child relationship away from the standard parent-to-child ‘I know what’s best for you’ approach to a mutual ‘parent–with-child’ relationship, in which the parent learns, grows and evolves alongside the child,” Mirjana says. “In this model, we consciously understand children are our teachers, our equals—and—our mirrors.”

Mirjana says all relationships, including our relationships with our children, is an opportunity to decide, declare to be and become the highest version of ourselves.

“When we come from a place within ourselves of love supported by understanding, tolerance, compassion and growth for self, we nurture this quality in our relationship with our children. When we come from a place of fear, control and reactivity, we nurture a relationship lead by our ego.”

She adds: “Parents unconsciously, and at times consciously, pass on an inheritance of psychological pain and emotional rigidity to their children as a result of their own pain and experiences passed down by their own parents. Our control dramas are formed in childhood in response to the control dramas of our parents, in turn passed down by their parents. We then continue to pass this cultural and generational conditioning to our own children without awareness in most cases.” 

We need to make new choices that move away from traditional parenting disciplines, which promote quick-fix techniques for control and behaviour management and discipline. This is a higher thought system that encourages communication and learning. You will begin to learn from your child, accept who they are and not only understand more about them, but also become more in touch with yourself.”

Traditional Paradigm Parenting

In order to better understand conscious parenting, we need to understand the traditional paradigm of parenting. This model is hierarchal, dogmatic, linear, controlling, fear based, and a one size fits all approach. Mostly, an external market dictates it: that is, how successful, how happy, how sporty, how academic, how popular, how good and how compliant the child is which is based on the external persona of the child. 

Conscious Paradigm Parenting

Conscious parenting is the exact opposite of the above criteria and indeed identifies with the intrinsic qualities of the child. It is non-hierarchal, non-dogmatic, nonlinear rather holographic, and non-controlling. It’s a state of awareness that encourages you to see the child as an awakener, an opportunity for growth. Essential to this is the re-frame that you are not the master/owner of the child rather have been gifted an opportunity to grow along the child.

How to Foster Conscious Parenting Habits:

• Understand your patterns
• Be real about where you’re at
• Allow the inner child to come up and heal
• Give to it love, validation, deep compassion
• When your inner child feels heard and validated, it no longer needs to control and come from a place of fear.

Conscious Parenting Habits:

• Observe the mindful play of your children
• Step onto the platform authentically
• Understand all reaction comes from a place of fear
• When triggered go outside the heat of the moment – what comes up for you?

Media contact: Shannon Dunn, Communeco, shannon@communeco.com +64 22 636 2405