Big reason why families fall apart when a parent passes away and it's not what you think!

Disputes over household items are destroying sibling relationships and they're almost always preventable

It is one of the most emotionally charged and conflict-prone moments a family can face; dividing up the possessions in the family home after an older parent dies.

While legal wills typically cover big-ticket assets such as property and bank accounts, they rarely detail who gets the furniture, jewellery, collections, tools or sentimental mementos inside the home. According to Bob Morton, cofounder and director of The Property Clearance Company, this is where family rifts often begin.

"In our work, we've seen families who were close for decades stop speaking because of disagreements over possessions," Morton said.

"The tension is rarely about the financial value alone, it's about fairness, transparency and emotion. If even one person feels shut out or treated unequally, trust can break down in an instant."

How possessions become flashpoints

When siblings gather to sort through a parent's belongings, emotions are already running high. The discovery that items are missing, have been taken early or are being claimed without agreement can immediately spark suspicion.

"Valuable items such as gold jewellery, antique furniture, art or rare collectibles are common triggers, but even everyday items like kitchenware, tools or family keepsakes can become a source of tension once their sentimental or resale value is recognised," Morton said.

Resentment builds when one sibling feels they have been left with items of little worth while others have taken possessions with clear financial or emotional value. Disputes often escalate over sentimental items such as photo albums, handwritten recipes, holiday souvenirs or heirlooms that cannot be replaced. Even when nothing has been removed, the fear or assumption that a sibling is 'cherry picking can fracture trust.

"When grief is fresh, emotions run high and logic can take a back seat," Morton said. "A tea set or a set of old chisels might not mean much to one person, but to another, it's priceless, financially or emotionally," he added.

Why a will is not enough

Many families believe a will covers every aspect of dividing an estate, but this is rarely true when it comes to personal property inside the home. Unless a parent has specifically listed every item and allocated it to someone, families are left to sort it out themselves. Without a clear process, disagreements quickly escalate, and possessions can begin disappearing without consensus.

"Without structure and transparency, the process becomes a breeding ground for suspicion and bitterness," Morton said.

"We've seen families destroyed over something as small as a clock or a lamp because the process wasn't handled properly."

The professional solution

Morton recommended bringing in an independent, professional clearance and valuation service before anything is touched. A professional team can enter the home, photograph and catalogue every item, assign an accurate market value and create a complete record for all family members. If items are to be sold, the proceeds can be placed into a central trust account for equal distribution.

This approach removes secrecy, eliminates doubt and often uncovers hidden value. Morton recalled finding an $8,000 artwork under a bed, a rare vintage handbag in a cupboard and a tool collection that sold for thousands of dollars, all of which could easily have been discarded or sold for next to nothing without a professional assessment.

Protecting relationships when it matters most

The financial loss of undervalued or discarded possessions is significant, but Morton said the real damage is often emotional. Once suspicion and resentment take hold, they can last for decades, sometimes permanently ending family relationships.

"The grief of losing a parent is hard enough without also losing your siblings," Morton said.

"When you take away secrecy and replace it with a clear, documented process, you protect both the estate's value and the relationships that matter most. That's the real inheritance."

About The Property Clearance Company

The Property Clearance Company is Australia's leading specialist in deceased estate and aged care home clearances. Founded by Bob and Jude Morton, the family-run business offers a trusted, end-to-end service that includes inventory management, item valuation, removals, managed on-sale service, donations and home preparation for sale. With a national footprint and a reputation for compassion, transparency and respect, the company has supported over 3,000 families through emotionally complex transitions. Their mission is simple: to clear homes with dignity, preserve family harmony, and honour the legacy of those who lived there.

Visit: www.propertyclearance.com.au